use protection (daeseol) wrote in jiuzhu,

你蛋疼不 - Chapter 2

Title: 你蛋疼不
Authors: atmest and daeseol
Genre: Crack, Romance, Fluff, AU
Focus Pairings: Sehun/Luhan, Suho/D.O.
Side Pairings: Baekhyun/Chanyeol, Kris/Tao, Chen/Xiumin
Chapter Focus: Suho/D.O.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: EXO in an alternative reality wherein they are students in the Philippines and they all go to the Big 4.
Note: Please see/read the UPDATED glossary here: this before or while reading.




Isang araw, our characters are in Legarda area near the Mendiola gates on their way to the train station. The traffic is horrible again, not that it has ever been good, but the crowd gathered at the high red steel gates worsens the situation. Kyungsoo sees it heavily fenced again, guarded by police men poised behind shields. It is a usual scenario, the short road closed, blocked by a throng of people in red shirts, red flags, and red placards. However, he is yet to learn how to not get annoyed by them anymore.

"So what's the deal this time?" Kyungsoo asks, mumbling the words to hide his slight irritation. He leans closer to Yixing so that only his best friend notices his not-so-secret disposition towards protesters.

"Budget cut," Yixing answers. "That's the third time you asked me. Pretty obvious you're not interested," he continues, pulling him by the wrist when Kyungsoo nearly steps down the sidewalk right after the traffic light turns green. A truck zooms past, making the hair splayed all over Kyungsoo's forehead ruffle over his eyes. "Don't die yet, Do Kyungsoo. Stay here. Look."

Yixing quickly points at the direction of the demonstration. Kyungsoo runs a hand through his hair, pushing his fringe back up to try and see properly.

"Dear Lord God," Yixing mutters, heaving a sigh as he tightens the grip of his fingers around Kyungsoo's wrist. Kyungsoo's eyes follow the direction where Yixing is pointing at. He sighs, too.

Right in front of the line of policemen stands the reason of their unwanted call for the Supreme Being. They could get reprimanded by their religion professors for being blasphemous, using the name of God in worldly desires. But they are outside school grounds so they can forget the Bible for a moment.

Besides, the person they are looking at right now could be a god.

"Man, is this what they call the second coming of Christ," Kyungsoo says. He makes a sign of the cross, and clasps his hands over his chest.

The subject of their mutual implosion seems to be the leader of the protest. He wears a red plaid polo shirt, the top three buttons popped open to reveal prominent collar bones and milky white skin. Kyungsoo knows it is a legit Ralph Lauren shirt because it is his favorite clothing line, and he thinks he has a top like that, too, at home. He holds a megaphone and Kyungsoo hates how it covers his lips. But his voice, Jesus Mary Joseph his voice, though amplified, sounds really wonderful.

"Let's go there," Yixing yanks him. "We need a better view."

"Wait," Kyungsoo interrupts, struggling against Yixing's tugging, "I thought we were going home. And it looks bloody over there."

"Shut up. Bilisan mo, mag-g-go na ulit yung stoplight."

Yixing drags him effectively to the other side of the road. Kyungsoo is hesitant, still tugging his wrist away from Yixing's tightening hold. He sights by the right side of Jesus the Second a boy, probably of his same height, donning a hairstyle he is sure was popular in some years before he was born, partnered with a pair of Harry Potter glasses. Kyungsoo chuckles at the difference but quickly forgets about it when gwapo Tibak Leader with the megaphone looks at their direction. He gasps and he makes himself believe it is their first eye contact.

"Did he just look at us?" Yixing asks, flailing apparent in his tone.

"I think this is salvation," Kyungsoo responds, eyes stuck at Tibak Leader's face who slightly turns to give them a pefect view of his perfect side profile. Scratch that. "Or redemption." His lips are nice. Kyungsoo subconsciously licks his own, and finds himself wanting to come over and associate with this ethereal being.

Tibak Leader finishes his speech, and hurriedly hands over the megaphone to Harry Potter with his hair horribly parted in the middle as if miniature Moses and Israelites are going to walk through it. Kyungsoo watches as the crowd starts converging closer to the guards lined up, pulling him and Yixing along. Kyungsoo is starting to panic, his space gradually being overtaken by sweaty people wearing sweaty red shirts.

"Yixing," Kyungsoo croaks, snatching his arm away from its being squished against a sweat-slicked limb, "alis na tayo, ayoko dito. Kadiri na, hindi kakayanin ng alco—"

"Hey, bagong members ba kayo?"

Kyungsoo freezes in his place when he realizes Tibak Leader is talking (but then again he said kayo) and looking at him. He isn't that tall, Kyungsoo finds out, but he is that much taller in the way he needs to tilt his head up ever so slightly to look at Tibak Leader's face clearly.

"Hi," Yixing mumbles. Kyungsoo however has his eyes stuck on the the lips which curve to a wonderfully striking smile. He has never seen a face as holy as this. Kyungsoo excitedly butts in. "Um... Ano nangyayari dito?"

Holy Tibak Leader chuckles. "Well, basically, we'retelling the government we don't like their plans of budget cut." And he ends his sentence with his usual bright smile that Kyungsoo finds the need to hold onto Yixing's shoulder, eyeing his best friend and sending him sort of a telepathic message which translates to "Mariang Makiling his smile is so wonderful my legs are shaking I need help."

Kyungsoo amuses himself with the movement of his mouth. His lips look deliciously good they must taste like caramel or vanilla or—wait. Oh god. He makes a quick mental shake of his head. No. Not the right time for your oral fixation, Do Kyungsoo.

"I see," Yixing nods and scans the area. Kyungsoo wants to punch him square in the face as Yixing is obviously feigning interest. Not that Kyungsoo isn't. Only Tibak Leader interests him.

"Fascinating," Kyungsoo says.

Tibak Leader's face shines again. He looks at the patch neatly pressed into the left breast pocket of Kyungsoo's uniform. "Really? Cool. It's good to know students from private universities find interest in the plights of SUCs."

Kyungsoo's eyes widen. No. Not the protest. You. You are fascinating.

Tibak Leader laughs. "Your eyes are cute. Too round."

Kyungsoo internally flails. Yixing pinches him by the thigh, his sharp fingernails almost digging through the thinness of their slack pants and Kyungsoo flinches, side-eyeing the other and mouths a "fuck you" at him. Yixing bats his eyes wishing Tibak Leader will compliment him as well but he ends up getting disappointed.

"Junmyeon!"

Somebody calls him from the crowd of red. Both Kyungsoo and Yixing become vigilantly attentive.

"Junmyeon! Saglit lang," the voice repeats.

Junmyeon. They both take out their phones from their pockets and quickly types down the name on their notes.

"Oh. I'll get back to you guys later, okay?" Junmyeon says and he disappears into the crowd, his red plaided polo camouflaging him in the sea of crimson.

Kyungsoo sighs, staring at the "Junmyeon" hastily written on his notepad application. Yixing has his head raised high, tiptoeing so that his sight is over the whole of the protesters. Kyungsoo pulls him down by the arm so that his feet are back flat on the ground. "Stop being obvious. He said he'll be back."

"For Pete's sake Kyungsoo I need to see more of him," Yixing pauses, scanning again the crowd but his brows crease to a fold indicating he has lost the subject of his search. "And if the gracious heavens allow, a taste of him as well. He's one delicious piece of mana. Shit."

Kyungsoo makes another sign of the cross before forcefully slamming a hand against Yixing's back. To Kyungsoo's disappointment, it ignites a debate on whether Tibak Leader Junmyeon should be seen as a consecrated human being favored by God, or as a god himself: exuding euphoric sex and lust scents all over. It lasts for more than thirty minutes, exchanging delusional words and almost senseless arguments, mostly won over by Yixing and his obviously suggestive comments which sends Kyungsoo to a piece of crumbling innocence.

When their argument reaches the boredom point, Yixing grows impatient.

"Forty-five minutes and wala pa si Mister Wow Ulam. If he was my boyfriend itatali ko talaga siya sa kama so he would beg—"

"Yixing shut up!" Kyungsoo mutters, keeping his voice low as he sees a scandalized kuya looking at their side. "Nakakahiya ka!"

Yixing annoyingly sticks his tongue out followed by a grunt. "He's not coming back. Sorry friend, may exam pa ako bukas. I still have to study."

For the third time Kyungsoo makes a sign of the cross. "Mahabaging Bathala what happened to you? Exams over gwapo Tibak Leader?" Kyungsoo clucks his tongue in mock disappointment. "Akala ko pa naman ikaw yung malandi sa ating dalawa."

"Ako nga. Pero it's your time to shine naman so go make landi with yummy aktibista," Yixing says, gently tapping Kyungsoo's shoulder. "Besides, papa Junmyeon looks like he's from UP. I need to make impress. Kailangan pataasin ang GPA."

Kyungsoo is not sure whether he should feel proud of Yixing or not. But he pats Yixing's back all the same when he starts squeezing himself out of the red crowd. Kyungsoo is left standing by himself, a small, white, elegant speck among the rioting red. Fifteen minutes pass, and the crowd is getting more and more condensed, and more and more angry. Kyungsoo debates on making a run for it, one foot stepped backward in case this escalates to some bloody shit he never wanted to see.

Perfect timing it must be when Junmyeon suddenly resurfaces and Kyungsoo finds peace. He taps Kyungsoo's shoulder, and says, "Hey, I'm done here for the day. Pauwi ka na ba, or papasok pa lang?"

Lord, ang gwapo ng boses niya, shucks. "Pauwi na," Kyungsoo monotonously answers, still enamored.

"Great. Pauwi na rin ako. Do you live nearby or you take the train?" Junmyeon asks as he pulls on his backpack's strap. He leads Kyungsoo out of the riot with a hand hovering over the small of his back, oblivious to the fact that Kyungsoo's brain is already short circuiting.

"I take the train. Gilmore station," Kyungsoo says, nearly tripping because he can feel the warmth of Junmyeon's hand, and it gets him weak in the knees. Skinship, thank you Lord.

"Okay. Araneta ako. Do you mind if sumabay na ako?" Junmyeon asks and he smiles. Kyungsoo shakes his head a little too fast for his liking. Junmyeon chuckles.

"Ang cute mo," Junmyeon comments, shooting him a wider smile, displaying rows of perfect teeth. Kyungsoo deduces that he can most definitely defy Laws of Physics and turn into a puddle of Kyungsoo goo at Junmyeon's feet. He doesn't mind at all.

The whole train ride is both heaven and hell for Kyungsoo. His heart is beating at double pace. His hands are cold and he keeps on squirming in his seat. But Junmyeon seems to not notice. He keeps on talking about the protest which leads to another social issue; until the whole conversation becomes a slippery slope of why strawberries are called strawberries when it is far from looking like a straw, plus the fact that it is not actually a berry.

The best part though, is when Junmyeon asks for his phone number and tells Kyungsoo before the Tomasino gets off his station, "It was a fun ride. Hope to see you again soon," with a hand around his wrist. As soon as he gets off, Kyungsoo makes sure he tightly holds onto the railings of the stairs otherwise it will be a great fall.

Well, not that he has not fallen yet—for Junmyeon, that is.



"Top grade milk!" Kyungsoo exclaims as he finishes his nightly glass of milk. He smiles, a smudge of white lining the top of his lips. "Sarap."

Yixing hisses, furiously scratching his head. "Hoy bata! Wag ka maingay nagaaral ako!" He slams a hand on one thick algebra book a little bit harder than necessary that it hurts. Kyungsoo grins and starts to sing. "Top grade milk. When you drink the milk it has a rich taste. During winter, milk is aromatic..."

"Please stop!" Yixing whines. "I'm trying to concentrate here!"

Kyungsoo likes it when he annoys Yixing, amused at how he gets even at him since Yixing loves to kid about Kyungsoo's innocence (the recent is how Kyungsoo has not gotten laid yet). He takes the chair next to his best friend, leaning to see what the cause of Yixing's frustration is.

"Ew."

"I know. Now go sing your milk song somewhere else."

Kyungsoo giggles and hums. "Twice better than normal milk. Milk with eight grams fat."

"I don't care about your milk. I only care about Salinggawi milk," Yixing mumbles and he wiggles his eyebrows. Kyungsoo's eyes shoot wide in shock, cheeks slightly stained with a light blush upon realizing what Yixing means by milk.

"I really don't understand your fetish for cheerleaders," Kyungsoo comments, walking back to his bed. He sits down and picks up his bag, ready to filter through his planner and his phone for things he forgot to take care of. He's in the process of writing a to-do list on the Friday portion of his Moonleaf planner when his phone lights up.

"I have a text!" Kyungsoo exclaims.

Yixing turns around in his desk chair, clapping. "Oh my God, is that the first non-Yixing, non-parents text you'll be receiving this year?"

"Your utter faith in my socialising skills is astounding, to be honest."

"I know. That's why I've stuck around you for so long."

Kyungsoo unlocks his phone, and opens the new message. He nearly drops his phone in shock.

Junmyeon
Hey, Kyungsoo! It was very nice to meet you, and thanks for your company on the way home. :)

ASDFGHJKL.

Kyungsoo starts thrashing on his bed, legs flailing everywhere as his fists pound on the mattress. He's trying not to scream, little mewls and muffled squeals escaping from his closed mouth. He curls into a foetal position, tugging a pillow to his chest, biting at an end as he rejoices in euphoric glee. He clutches his phone tight in his fist.

"Who is that?" Yixing asks, wheeling his chair towards the bed.

"Go away. Do your maths," Kyungsoo says, voice high and squeaky as he tries to compose himself. He breaths in and out, repeating the action three to four times as he tries to still his excited heart currently jackhammering against his ribs. He unlocks his phone again, and thinks of a decent reply.

Kyungsoo
Hi, Junmyeon! It was very nice to meet you too, and to meet someone from another school. It's a new change. :) And it's no biggie. You were great company, too. :D

After Kyungsoo presses send, he flops, spreading out his fanboy-strained limbs. Junmyeon texted him. Junmyeon texted him. Junmyeon texted him. It just needs to be stressed three times because Junmyeon texted him.

"JUNMYEON TEXTED YOU?"

Kyungsoo draws his phone close to his chest territorially, as if his life will depend on its existence. Well actually, yes, now that Junmyeon texted him. As of tonight, his life and his future will depend on every SMS conversation with Junmyeon.

"How did you get his number?" Yixing asks calmly but his tone obviously displays envy.

"Not your business. It's your punishment for leaving me alone kahapon sa rally!" Kyungsoo exclaims. Yixing tries to sneak his hands in between Kyungsoo's tightly crossed arms. "Don't touch my phone! Stop! Huwag mo ako hipuan! Dede ko yan!"

Yixing immediately pulls his hands away. "Kapal mo! Feeling mo naman gusto ko hawakan yang dede mo. I just want Junmyeon's number," and Yixing pouts, sticking out his bottom lip.

Kyungsoo jerks and quickly sits on the bed when his phone vibrates. His lips curve to a big smile when Junmyeon's name flashes on his phone's screen. Unfortunately, Kyungsoo has gone oblivious of Yixing's presence and before he knows it, his hands are empty and Yixing's already reading the text message.

"HEY ZHANG YIXING!"

"PUTANGINA DO KYUNGSOO!"

Kyungsoo is teary-eyed as he reaches for his phone though unsuccessfully. "Give me back my phone please."

"Kyungsoo, he wants to fuck you." Yixing's voice is scarily calm, pupils narrowing into beads as he reads, and rereads the text.

"I know you want me to get laid the soonest, but I don't believe you so give me back my phone and let me read his text," Kyungsoo commands, a little annoyed. He grabs his phone from Yixing's hand and reads the message immediately.

Junmyeon
By the way, is it okay if we go out sometime? Sex tayo. My treat.

Kyungsoo blinks and rereads the text.

Sex tayo. My treat. Sex tayo. Sex tayo.

Kyungsoo thinks his brain collapses into itself, turning into a goo of pink and will ooze like water out of his nose, eyes, and ears. He is shaking. He sits down at the edge of his bed, eyes endleslly rereading the "sex tayo" part.

"Hey, I replied in behalf of you," Yixing says, mischief clearly spelled on the expression of his face. Kyungsoo snaps out of his reverie and panics when, for the second time, he sees Yixing holding his phone.

"E-excuse me?"

Kyungsoo snatches his phone and opens his conversation thread with Junmyeon.

Kyungsoo
Sure. Why not. ;) I'm free after lunch tomorrow.

His phone nearly slips off his grip when it vibrates. Shit. Shit. Shit. Why the fuck did Yixing use the ;) emoticon? It looks so fucking suggestive there, floating in his speech bubble as he views his conversation with Junmyeon. Then a new, grey speech bubble pops up from underneath his green one, and he nearly submits to cardiac arrest.

Junmyeon
Cool! After lunch then? See you tomorrow, Kyungsoo. :)

Yixing goes back to his seat and starts flipping on the pages of his algebra book happily, as if he has done something beneficial to the world.

Kyungsoo groans in desperation, voice almost lamenting, "Yixing, sana bumagsak ka."

"Go get some sleep," Yixing mumbles. "You need to save energy, I tell you."

That night, the constant fast beating of his heart does not let Kyungsoo sleep. He straightens, then curls, then turns around until he is the meat of a blanket sushi.

"Oh god my virginity," Kyungsoo mumbles around his covers. Struggling to get his arms free, he puts his hands together and prays for Guidance.

Papa God, alam ko po gwapo yung second coming ng anak niyo, pero tama po ba ito?



Kyungsoo straightens his polo shirt which has been crumpled by the amount of people jammed in the train as he (im)patiently waits for Junmyeon at the station. His too-striking-red attire makes him so uncomfortable as people look at him like it's a crime to feel so Valentiney when it's past February 14. It's not too late though. He questions Yixing's choice of clothes. He is a fashion terrorist to begin with, why did he take the suggestion so seriously.

He clutches on to his bag tightly, hugging it close to his chest, resting his chin above it as he tries to hide his whole top. He is too nervous to stay put so he keeps on jerking his legs up and down until somebody sits next to him.

"That's visual masturbation," the guy speaks. Kyungsoo shoots the stranger wide eyes, cheeks almost burning, brain crumbling at how the word simply slips out of his mouth like it's the most polite greeting ever. Unfortunately the stranger is not a stranger. Junmyeon is there right beside him and Kyungsoo nearly falls off his seat.

"I kid," Junmyeon smiles and the perfect set of teeth bared before him is too bright for Kyungsoo to handle. "Don't give me that face. It's not like you don't masturbate."

Kyungsoo feels like crying.

Sex talk.

Is this how you do it? He regrets refusing to Yixing's proposal for a My-First-Sex-Is-Gonna-Happen-Tomorrow-Please-Teach-Me-What-To-Do-And-What-To-Say Orientation.

"Um... So... I-it's my first time to do this and I'm not sure..." Kyungsoo trails off. His voice is shaking, caused by the loud thumping of his heart against his ribcage.

"It's okay," Junmyeon says, holding Kyungsoo's hands (he feels like fainting) and leads them out of the platform. "It's my first time, too. I'm excited to know how yummy it is, actually."

How yummy.

Inside Kyungsoo's head is a complete mess, his thoughts skyrocketing to a high level of reverie that he forgets about how smooth and soft Junmyeon's hand is when he clasps them together, holding Kyungsoo as he guides him through Pedro Gil. Or about the short pants Junmyeon is wearing, revealing hairlessly smooth white legs. Or that V-neck shirt that is a little bit too low, revealing wonderful, strikingly white collarbones.

"Hey Kyungsoo," Junmyeon snaps. "Are you alright?"

Kyungsoo nods. You just asked me out for sex and you ask me if I am alright?

"Are you sure? You look pale," Junmyeon happily remarks. He raises his arm and rests it over Kyungsoo's shoulder which sends the Tomasino to a jolt. Junmyeon's side is so warm, Kyungsoo tries his best not to snuggle closer. And he smells good, too.

"Don't be awkward. Don't worry, after sex you'll feel great," Junmyeon continues.

Kyyungsoo is sure he is going to pass out anytime. Mahabaging Bathala, what happened to Jesus the Second?

       
    
Tags: fic!你蛋疼不, genre!au, genre!crack, genre!fluff, genre!romance, pair!baekhyun/chanyeol, pair!kris/tao, pair!sehun/luhan, pair!suho/d.o., pair!xiumin/chen, rating!pg13
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ssehun

February 18 2013, 13:39:24 UTC 1 year ago

i just-- shrieking at tibak leader joonmyeon tbh
bless you for updating and omg yay up makes a sort-of appearance :)))

daeseol

February 20 2013, 12:59:46 UTC 1 year ago

hi! :) yep yep finally. hopefully more UP stuff in the next chapters haha. XD thank you for reading! ^^

daeseol

February 18 2013, 13:44:12 UTC 1 year ago

spot for byunbaekhyun XD <3

byunbaekhyun

February 18 2013, 13:56:48 UTC 1 year ago

ABA TEKA DI KO PA TAPOS BASAHIN PERO BAKIT RALPH LAUREN SHIRT DIN HA? BAKIT? THAT;S HOW I SEE SUHO TOO KALOKA SINO NAGSULAT NUN DAN IKAW BA?

byunbaekhyun

1 year ago

byunbaekhyun

1 year ago

byunbaekhyun

1 year ago

daeseol

1 year ago

byunbaekhyun

1 year ago

lessvocals

February 18 2013, 13:53:39 UTC 1 year ago

I had to ask t-list to explain some words to me hahaha. Ang tanga ko talaga minsan sa Tagalog. D:
But omgggggggggg KYUNGMYEON FINALLYasdfasjakjdhakjsfhg

daeseol

February 20 2013, 13:00:36 UTC 1 year ago

i saw that lol you asked what "tibak" is PMSL :))

LMFAO XDDD excited for the next chapters tbh kasi ahahahahaha basta~ >__

tsunderellasays

February 18 2013, 14:01:59 UTC 1 year ago

HI DAN BEA TO HAHAHA

Bukas na ako magko-comment nang matino (or not) hahahaha~

tsunderellasays

February 19 2013, 04:16:04 UTC 1 year ago

MATINO NA AKO PROMISE

OMFG ANG DAMI NG TAWA KO

KYUNGSOO AT YIXING ANG LANDI NIYO, MAHABAGING BATHALA DIYOS KO

AT ANG GWAPO NG TIBAK LEADER OK. SASALI NA BA AKO SA RALLY KUNG GANUN

AT ANG PABORITO KO:

SEX TAYO. MY TREAT.

LASLAS FOREVER

daeseol

1 year ago

tsunderellasays

1 year ago

elaineleyn

February 18 2013, 14:08:54 UTC 1 year ago

crying and laughing so hard at the same time. how to leave a proper comment can i just copy paste all the skdnslalsbka tweets i did

elaineleyn

February 18 2013, 14:13:09 UTC 1 year ago

tangina putol pa yung comment ko i accidentally clicked the post button hahahaha. omg i swear i read this entire thing in a conyo accent and i wanna slap myself hard looool

benta talaga yung sex part!? fck gusto ko umiyak na matawa bec //sex tayo my treat// cryingggggg hahahahahaha pakshet pakshet you guys are so benta you made my night huhuhu

pa-SEx naman kayo jaaaaaan wiwit (balasubas lang hahahaha)

daeseol

1 year ago

stateofgrace

February 18 2013, 14:20:31 UTC 1 year ago

Pagagalitan ako ng mga prof ko neto. EH SA SOBRANG NAKAKATAWA YUNG MGA REFERENCE EH PLS PAPA GOD PLS FORGIVE ME MAY I JUST LAUGH AT JESUS THE SECOND

Kung ganito ba naman kagwapo yung mga Tibak Leaders mangunguna na ako sa takilya.

THANK YOU PALA sobrang lakas ng tawa ko napagalitan ako ng nanay ko. Dapat na raw ako mamahinga. :D

One of my favorite parts: "Don't touch my phone! Stop! Huwag mo ako hipuan! Dede ko yan!" I CHOKED

daeseol

February 20 2013, 13:04:09 UTC 1 year ago

omg bakit saan mo ba to binasa may class ka ba nung binasa mo to? haha

LMFAO everyone loves the dede part =)) thank you for reading! XD

splickerflicker

February 18 2013, 14:24:26 UTC 1 year ago

GUYS...GUYS

OMGGGG

CRYING AT SEX

OMG I KNOW WHAT IT IS I SWEAR HAHA BUT NOT GONNA SPOIL HAHAHA...MENTION PA LANG NG PEDRO GIL EH

I LAB YOU GUYS OKAY STAY AWESOME FOREVER



AND OMG HAVE I FORGOTTEN TO MENTION..YIXING IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVE CHARACTER PUTAENA AYOKO NA

bless

daeseol

February 20 2013, 13:06:05 UTC 1 year ago

PMSL my whole tlist started talking about it na so it's basically spoiled but don't worry we have a different plan meheeee

XD i think yixing is one of my fave characters na rin tbh never expected his character would be like this haha~ thank you for reading! ^^

/changes dp to cute luhan bc ugugu your DP is amusingly horrifying lol

torakiss

February 18 2013, 14:28:43 UTC 1 year ago

i don't normally cuss irl but this update made me smash my keyboard and scream profanities in front of my laptop. i have my stuffed friends as witnesses.
crying so much at the religious references i can't stop laughing. and ofc, cutie innocent kyungsoo is the best ♥ and it's really, really cute how kyung and xing are flailing over junmyeon XD


excuse me for the language but i'm gonna leave a part of my feelings here using the words naknampuchasumasakitnakatawankosakakatawaayokonautangnaloob

this update is truly 凡tastic baby ♥ awesome. terrific. very entertaining. (i'm looking forward to the next update~~~ ; u ; )

daeseol

February 20 2013, 13:08:07 UTC 1 year ago

"this update is truly 凡tastic baby" wow i like that omg :))

thank you for reading bb sobs im happy napatawa ka namin ahahaha~ >__

darkyulate

February 18 2013, 14:35:50 UTC 1 year ago

Tinry kong magcomment kaso spam daw soooo mas inosente na to

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA STILL LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS XD Just the thought of Kyungsoo's stupidity/naivety/innocence is just ASTOUNDING HAHAHA Sabi nung friend ko parang di daw sya Tomasino kasi di raw nya alam yung SEX HAHAHAHAHA

Benta grabe SAYANG BITIN and omg I cannot wait for CHEERLEADERS, IDK BUT I HAVE THIS HUNCH THAT JONGIN'S ONE HAHA PUTEK MAKAFEELER NAMAN XD

Really surprised tho that not a lot of people know SEX HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Nakakahiya naman kasi alam ko XD

daeseol

February 20 2013, 13:10:47 UTC 1 year ago

oo nga e pati yung sa iba naging spam OTL i dont get it lj please ;A;

anyway ahahahahaha~ don't worry mas masaya yung sa mga susunod na chapters. hopefully. OTL

nakakapressure yung dami ng natatawa sa fic na to oh god lol anyway thank you for reading yuki! >__

darkyulate

1 year ago

irishdescence

February 18 2013, 14:51:14 UTC 1 year ago

Tibak leader ftw hahahahahaha sorry mabenta talaga ang chapter na 'to =)) =)) =)) can't wait for the next chapter <3

daeseol

February 20 2013, 13:11:23 UTC 1 year ago

woot i love the idea of tibak!junmyeon tbh haha anyway~ thank you! will try to update the soonest hehe :D

exoticmisty

February 18 2013, 14:52:56 UTC 1 year ago

Huwag mo ako hipuan! Dede ko yan!

Sex tayo. My treat

dhlasjdlkashdklas what the actual fuck, joonmyun what is with the yummy sex is that a kind of food or r u rly a pervert isko in disguise odg brb dying

daeseol

February 20 2013, 13:12:50 UTC 1 year ago

LOL masaya ang sex i swear OMG OOPS sjOJDSAKdfh jk :))

lol you'll know (or you've prolly known about it na bc a lot of people began talking about it since we posted this pmsl)

thank you very much for reading~ XD

icedtaem

February 18 2013, 15:00:40 UTC 1 year ago

NAIIYAK AKO SA LAHAT NG CONVO NILA OMAYGAD
ALAM MO BANG SABI NG FATHER KO PAPASUKAN NA DAW NG HANGIN ANG BRAIN KO KAKATAWA??

crying because of kyungsoo OTL

..okay srsly this fic is great!

thanks so much for updating!!

daeseol

February 20 2013, 13:13:54 UTC 1 year ago

lol i also cried and cringed at the things we wrote pmsl :))

salamat bb~ XD

jongina

February 18 2013, 15:34:30 UTC 1 year ago

omfg teka lang gonna spot here muna bc i was not expecting this lmfao?

jongina

February 18 2013, 17:38:06 UTC 1 year ago Edited:  February 18 2013, 17:41:19 UTC

eto nanaman ako sa comment-vomit ko lmfao i'm sorry ;A;

Isang araw, our characters are in Legarda area near the Mendiola gates on his way to the train station.
guys i'm so near tbh sa mendiola ako nag-w-work bakit wala akong nakikitang ganyan puro mga jeep/fx drivers lang na nag-ra-rally lmfao :(((((

"Man, is this what they call the second coming of Christ," Kyungsoo says. He makes a sign of the cross, and clasps his hands over his chest.
PUTANGINA KYUNGSOO I CAN'T =))))))

"Shut up. Bilisan mo, mag-g-go na ulit yung stoplight."
wow sassy yixing omg BEST EVERRRR

He sights by the right side of Jesus the Second a boy, probably of his same height, donning a hairstyle he is sure was popular in some years before he was born, partnered with a pair of Harry Potter glasses. Kyungsoo chuckles at the difference but quickly forgets about it when gwapo Tibak Leader with the megaphone looks at their direction. He gasps and he makes himself believe it is their first eye contact.
asdhklds JESUS THE SECOND asdhujk GWAPO TIBAK LEADER

SI HARRY POTTER THO OMG =))

Holy Tibak Leader chuckles.
negl pero gonna call junmen this forever

Yixing bats his eyes wishing Tibak Leader will compliment him as well but he ends up getting disappointed.
OHH MY GOOOOOD DO I SMELL A LOVE TRIANGLE HERE ASDJLKJ

"Forty-five minutes and wala pa si Mister Wow Ulam. If he was my boyfriend itatali ko talaga siya sa kama so he would beg—"
MR. WOW ULAM OH MY GOD I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD GET BETTER THAN HOLY TIBAK LEADER SANDALI LANG I NEED A MOMENT =))))

"Akala ko pa naman ikaw yung malandi sa ating dalawa."

"Ako nga. Pero it's your time to shine naman so go make landi with yummy aktibista,"

I'M ON THE FLOOR ROLLING AROUND LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AT THIS

Skinship, thank you Lord.
THANK YOU INDEED

"I don't care about your milk. I only care about Salinggawi milk," Yixing mumbles and he wiggles his eyebrows.
WHEEZES OH MY GOD ANG LANDIIIII

"Don't touch my phone! Stop! Huwag mo ako hipuan! Dede ko yan!"
OH MY GOD DEDE KO YAN ASDHOIASHDNLK

By the way, is it okay if we go out sometime? Sex tayo. My treat.
SHRIEKING KUYA DAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA i love this line 4evr tbqh =)) try niyo rin sa vito cruz masarap din ang sex! /animo la salle hahaha

Papa God, alam ko po gwapo yung second coming ng anak niyo, pero tama po ba ito?
CACKLES

"Don't be awkward. Don't worry, after sex you'll feel great," Junmyeon continues.
NA SA ERMITA KAYO KYUNGMYEON THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ~*ENDLESS*~ /SINGS A WHOLE NEW WORLLLLLDDDD

bitin cries PERO GUJAAAABBBB huhuhuhu i love this 4evr as always etc :((((( ♥♥♥♥♥ holy gwapo tibak leader!!!

daeseol

1 year ago

samvilerow

February 18 2013, 15:45:09 UTC 1 year ago

I have this feeling na sex tayo is a restaurant. baklaan galore lang si kyungsoo at yixing ha so me

daeseol

February 20 2013, 13:14:37 UTC 1 year ago

woops wag spoiler~ jk hahahaha :))

baklaan galore omfg hahaha shit :)) mejo...parang ganun na nga. ahaha!

thank you for reading~ ^^

lilmikan101

February 18 2013, 15:45:50 UTC 1 year ago

omg ung utak ko putaaa hahaha ano ba!!
tibak angelic jesus the second leader kim junmyeon syet nmn what do i do with you.. omg

parang i act like kyungsoo kapag may mareceive nako na txt galing kay crush shiet nmn..
at the same time im laughing at how innocent kyungsoo is PLEASE OMG SPARE ME

daeseol

February 20 2013, 13:15:53 UTC 1 year ago

/changes icon to luhan bc otp mate of your dp XD

anyway hahaha actually that part was written by my co-author at yun actually yung nangyari sa kanya LMFAO XDDD

thank you for reading dear~ ^^

lilmikan101

1 year ago

mara_ciro

February 18 2013, 15:50:27 UTC 1 year ago

Re-posting my comment since I forgot a few things in the ones earlier.

BAKIT BITIIIIIIIIIIIIN. Wait don't answer that. Rhetorical question lang iyan. Oh my God, ang landi lang ni Yixing and I love it. Kung lahat ng aktibista kasing guwapo ni Papa Joonmyun, sige lang. I shall support their causes more. Dami ko pang tawa... I shall leave a longer comment later on... if I remember to do so.

PS: Salinggawi!Krystal please? Para lang may landiin si Yixing. #imkiddingofc

daeseol

February 26 2013, 09:05:47 UTC 1 year ago

siyempre ngayon lang ako nakakareply PMSL

more to come (pun intended) para kay yixing sa mga susunod na kabanata~ abangan~ HEHEHE

thank you clara!!! ^^

gimgibum

February 18 2013, 15:52:10 UTC 1 year ago

omygod............
sobrang benta lang ng lahat :((((
lalo na yung "Huwag mo ako hipuan! Dede ko yan!" amp lang pls :((((
at yung "Sex tayo. My treat." KASI HAHAHAHAHA ang benta kahit alam ko na yon pero ang benta parin HAHAHAHA

exo+conyo=dfkjdfkdshfjkdsfsdjfk totally naiimagine ko sila asjkdhasjk

daeseol

February 26 2013, 09:05:07 UTC 1 year ago

HI! :D thank you for reading!

xiao_tian_jelly

February 18 2013, 16:11:42 UTC 1 year ago

not so new reader here. commenting kasi alam ko yung SEX wahahahaha =))

daeseol

February 26 2013, 09:04:46 UTC 1 year ago

SSSSh lol jk :)) alam na ng lahat ng tao but it's okay~ HAHA thank you for reading! ^^

knackchan08

February 18 2013, 16:24:44 UTC 1 year ago

the xingsoo friendship is so A+++ i can so visualize it lmao

and then SEX HAHAHA jfc that is a great addition but KYUNGSOO poor little innocent thing omfg

pero shet super kilig over gwapo tibak leader iskolar ng bayan junmyeon SIGHS 8(

cannot wait for the next chapter aaaaaahahaha ♥

daeseol

February 26 2013, 09:04:18 UTC 1 year ago

LOL thank you for reading dear! yes! more fun in the next chapters~

airplanewishes

February 18 2013, 16:35:02 UTC 1 year ago Edited:  February 18 2013, 16:35:14 UTC

Wala akong masabi. Gugulungan ko nalang kayo. (Pero gusto ko butasin mga leeg nila.)

daeseol

February 26 2013, 09:03:48 UTC 1 year ago

gulungan ka ni baekhyun, gusto mo? :3

gulong kayo tapos sabihin niya, "sex tayo? my treat."

HAHAHAHAHHA PMSL JK

airplanewishes

1 year ago

nighttimefalls

February 18 2013, 16:45:43 UTC 1 year ago

Huwag mo ako hipuan! Dede ko yan!
---putangina hipuan kita jan eh :c favorite line, ever.

anyway, me on twitter as i was reading

daeseol

February 26 2013, 09:03:18 UTC 1 year ago



OH MY GOD I AM SO DONE, TOO.

lol people should just do this too when commenting bc all reactions are on twitter anyway PMSL thank you very much!!! XDDD

poseuristic

February 19 2013, 01:05:01 UTC 1 year ago

omfg THIS IS GOLD! *thumbs up*

so nakakarelate kasi Big 4 student din ako :)
sobra sobra ngiti ko sa parts ng pagffangirlboy ni kyungsoo kay joonmyun!!!
and the 'sex' reference -- LOL lang talaga! at first di ko siya na gets, then eventually..... XD benta to, SOBRA!
all of the lines are so quotable, I could read this over and over again!!

thanks for this full of crack kyungmyeon fic! kudos to the authors! can't wait for the update :))

btw, to kuya dan, this is Kathryn (kmsbbh) from ask.fm ^^

daeseol

February 26 2013, 09:01:59 UTC 1 year ago

OOOH! hi hi hi! lol di naman masyado obvious bias ko no? HAHAHA XDDD

thank you for reading~ abangan mo mga susunod na kabanata XD

unyoku

February 19 2013, 10:37:51 UTC 1 year ago

GRABE OH MY GOD TAWANG TAWA AKO :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( LMFAO

TAENA SI KYUNGSOO AT SI YIXING HDASJKLDJASKLDHALSJKD DI KO KERIBELLS
omfg the sex part tho oMG
kaiyak

awesome update :(( sa sobrang tawa ko, umiiyak na ako =)) lmfao thanks!

daeseol

February 26 2013, 09:01:23 UTC 1 year ago

HAHAHA just wait, there's more to come~ (pun not so intended mehe)

thank you for reading dear! ^^

gaudetao

February 19 2013, 12:20:02 UTC 1 year ago

everyone's speaking tagalog haha
putik. sex daw tayo.. sama niyo kooo!! masarap yan.

daeseol

February 26 2013, 09:00:40 UTC 1 year ago

PMSL oo nga masarap yan! taraaaaaa~ LOLJK

thank you for reading bb~

kumoholic

February 19 2013, 12:47:16 UTC 1 year ago

"Don't touch my phone! Stop! Huwag mo ako hipuan! Dede ko yan!"

"Kapal mo! Feeling mo naman gusto ko hawakan yang dede mo."

SHET FAVORITE KO TALAGA

APAKALANDI NI KYUNGSOO AT YIXING PUTANGINA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

NAIIYAK PO AKO FOREVER HUHUHU

daeseol

February 26 2013, 08:59:41 UTC 1 year ago

SAME BB SAME LOL :)) thank you for reading! ^^
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